Thursday, June 21, 2007

I Killed the Brahman

The river of innocence was drowned
I grew up early
Barely six, I lit his pyre..
A hole where his vermillion was..
Wouldn’t burn…

The hole of my being…a Brahman
A hated soul…a hated existence
Had Sharda changed sides..
She stood mute..i wouldn’t know
Mute stood everyone else…

A deafening silence…
Was the answer to everything I asked
I searched for my answers
And I grew
Diffident ,dalit….and a brahman

Everyone loved hating me..
I loved it too…
Hate-my subsistence
My food for thought
My existence in exile…..

I grew up early
And I drowned the pyre and the river
And the tears…
I cut the thread
And the tuft….
I wailed and rejoiced….
Sang and cried…
I wallowed in the sand…
Abused Nadim ..his Kashmir

I hated my self
I cooked it on the wet pyre
Ate it up..
And woke up
No more a brahman…

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Dead End

Dead End
The road to what was once my home in Kashmir....zuv chum bramaan ghare gachehae..